This is a time of physical transformations and psychological changes. Puberty requires a lot of energy and adaptation for young people. The pace of change varies from one person to the next, and this can be a source of concern for them. Some are comfortable talking about it; others prefer to live it out in silence. 

It's normal to see them often changing ideas, styles, and interests. They experiment to discover what's really important to them. What's more, young people have access to a wealth of information, whether it's on the Internet, at school, or from their friends and family. Making the right decisions for your child's well-being can be a real brain teaser. Lastly, they need to distance themselves from their parents to be able to do this and to feel that they have made their own choices to become a person in their own right. 

Why do their emotions always seem so intense?  By early adolescence, the part of the brain responsible for emotions is fully functional. This is what leads a young person to seek thrills and pleasure when they are in action. The part of the brain responsible for thinking and judging doesn't mature until the early twenties. 

This means that, during adolescence (especially in its early stages), the gap between the need to experience high emotions and the ability to plan, judge, and project is very wide. This might explain some of your teen's reckless behavior. 

Ce qui veut dire que durant l’adolescence (principalement à ses débuts), le décalage entre le besoin de vivre de grandes émotions, la capacité à planifier, à juger et à se projeter est très grande. C’est ce qui peut expliquer certains comportements téméraires chez votre adolescent ou adolescente. 

All these changes shake the self-esteem and confidence of young people. What's more, they can put a lot of pressure on themselves to look like what they see on social networks, to be the teenager their parents want them to be, or to be the boyfriend or girlfriend they want to be.

Expressing yourself in front of others is also a major challenge. How will I look? What will others think of me?  Do I have the right to be wrong?

As a parent, you want your child to develop good self-esteem, so much so that you might try to avoid any situation that could call their skills into question. You don't let them go and try to keep control. Your child might come to understand that you don't trust them. 
 

Some children are excited about starting secondary school; others are terrified. This transition is a big step in a child's life. No matter how hard we try to prepare them, the emotions they experience are perfectly normal and should be dealt with as they come. 

Questions your teen might have 
"Will I have friends? Will I get lost in this big school? Will I be able to do all my homework?"

They move from a school where they are taken care of to an environment that will require them to be much more independent. Sometimes, their emotions will vary from week to week. At first, they're excited, and when they realize the changes it brings, certain emotions may arise. 

Here's a sheet to guide you through the transition from primary to secondary school.

• Having new experiences.
• Having fun with my family and friends.
• Identifying with a group (friends, sports or cultural activities, school, family).
• Communicating my ideas; expressing my disagreement.
• Having responsibilities.
• Making some decisions.

• Feeling trusted.
• Learning that it's okay to make mistakes, but that I have to make amends afterwards.
• Feeling appreciated.
• Having my own privacy zone.

• To be heard and listened to.
• To be reassured about the changes I'm going through.
• To be accompanied in the emotions I'm experiencing.

• Feel safe: Know the limits and rules around me (home, school, work).
• Am supported in my educational and career choices.